ECYC ~ HDLT ~ MCCW

Facebook reminded me yesterday of this very special time in my life. It's hard to believe it was three years ago........ The parish in Heidelberg will always hold a very special place in my heart. I loved being a part of MCCW(Military Conference of Catholic Women) and also HDLT(Heidelberg Life Teen). Such incredible people and friends that I will treasure forever. God is good. All the time.❤️ 

Christmas is in Your Heart

  It seems like more years than not, I get a bit Charlie Brownish around Christmas time. I don't know if it's because I'm not a child anymore and I long for that magical feeling of a child on Christmas morning, or maybe it's because I haven't spent Christmas with my side of the family in ten years..... I'm not sure what it is, but it's a sad and lonely feeling that I'm sure a lot of us have at this time of year.

  I tried taking my family to Christmas Eve Vigil  Mass at 5:30 pm this year. Never a good time of day for us. James' medicine runs out at about 4:30. Eli is hungry and tired. It was a mess. It doesn't help that if you want a seat, you have to show up thirty minutes early-Which we did, and that's about how long we lasted- Thirty minutes. Eli started screeching for no apparent reason, and James would not stop complaining(loudly) about how awful the incense smelled. Shayne was dying of embarrassment and Flyboy got up and took Eli to the cry room. I so badly wanted to stay, but I couldn't handle it and we got up and left.

  I went to mass Christmas morning by myself. If that wasn't sad or depressing enough, I was one out of twenty people there. It was so sad, yet the lyrics to the song, 'Joy to the World' kept ringing in my ears-"Let every heart prepare him room." As hard as it's been for me this year to get into the Christmas spirit, those six words seemed to creep inside and fill my heart with joy. Knowing Christ was here and I could start all over again, and make room for him in my heart filled me with such joy and happiness. You know that part in the movie, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when his heart grows so big it breaks the magnify glass?  Well, that was me, I was the Grinch. I could actually feel my heart grow.

  I've spent the last six months being angry at life. Angry at the Army, angry at Flyboy, angry that I feel like I've been having to do everything by myself. I'm done with being angry. I'm ready to let Christ in my heart. I'm ready to start over. I am done with 2013 and more than ready for 2014. Prost to the new year, and may Christ's light shine in all of our hearts this year.

The Epiphany of the Lord
Lectionary: 20

Reading 1 Is 60:1-6

Rise up in splendor, Jerusalem! Your light has come,
the glory of the Lord shines upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth,
and thick clouds cover the peoples;
but upon you the LORD shines,
and over you appears his glory.
Nations shall walk by your light,
and kings by your shining radiance.
Raise your eyes and look about;
they all gather and come to you:
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters in the arms of their nurses.

Then you shall be radiant at what you see,
your heart shall throb and overflow,
for the riches of the sea shall be emptied out before you,
the wealth of nations shall be brought to you.
Caravans of camels shall fill you,
dromedaries from Midian and Ephah;
all from Sheba shall come
bearing gold and frankincense,
and proclaiming the praises of the LORD.

My Moment With Mary

Mother Mary still standing after a fire erupted during Hurricane Sandy in Breezy Point, Queens, NY.  October 2012

  I wrote this a year ago..... It's taken me this long to find the courage to post it....... I've added 'Being Catholic' to my labels on the right-hand column. Being Catholic in this society is a battle for me- The world says one thing, and Christ says another. It's a constant battle and it's hard to write about it without thinking you're going to offend someone. I'm tired of hiding my faith because the media/society paints an ugly picture of it. I know the truth, and that's all that matters.

  I didn't grow up praying to Mary or any of the Saints. I know....I'm Catholic, that's what we supposedly do, but quite honestly, I don't remember ever being told to pray to them.  I mean I prayed the Hail Mary a thousand times, but I don't think I actually knew what I was doing. I remember choosing Saint Monica for my Patron Saint at my Confirmation because it was my mother's Patron Saint. Only until recently, did I look it up to see what she is the Patron Saint of( I couldn't remember)....Come to find out she is the Patron Saint of mothers, married women, and alcoholics......I had to laugh out loud at that one..... Yep, that makes perfect sense; being a married woman and a mother will most definitely drive you to drink!! HA!

  I grew up in a very sheltered Catholic life, by that I mean I grew up in the same Catholic parish most of my life. My best friends were Catholic, and if I were to speak about religion, it was with other Catholics. It wasn't until I moved to Germany in 2010 when we first joined the Catholic parish on post. We have always belong to parishes outside of post. If you have never been to a military chapel, it is quite interesting. There are about five different denominations that share one chapel. After Mass we have to cover the Stations of the Cross on the walls, rotate the crucifix so Jesus isn't showing anymore, and we have to hide the statues of Mary and Joesph in the sacristy. It's very bizarre and feels wrong when you have been born and raised in a Catholic church.

  After Eli was diagnosed with autism, I ran straight to God. I knew I wasn't going to survive this unless God was ever present in my life. I have always felt close to Christ, but I needed him in my face 24/7. You know what I'm saying??? I started going to PWOC(Protestant Women of the Chapel) in the fall of 2011 because the Catholics didn't have a bible study at the time. They knew I was Catholic, but said I could still come anyways. Lovely ladies, but it wasn't until then, did I realize what some non-Catholics(Protestants) thought of us Catholics. I had no idea about all the myths of the Catholic church that some Protestants truly believed. I was completely set back. What in the world are they saying??? I don't worship Mary?! I ended up not finishing the second bible study in the spring. I suddenly had become parched for my own faith and realized there was so much about my own Catholic faith that I wanted to know more about. I found a fantastic group of Catholic women in our parish, and we started our journey to getting to know our faith together.

In May, our parish went on a pilgrimage to Lourdes, France. I would have done anything to escape my own reality and jump on that bus with my friends. I so desperately wanted to give Eli a bath in the water where true miracles had happen. I didn't know much about Saint Bernadette, but I knew I wanted to be close to Mary. I remember that Friday before Mother's Day, I went to go pray the rosary in the little daily chapel hidden in the back of the main chapel. The rosary is a whole new world to me. I've always been nervous to pray it because I was always afraid I was doing it wrong. So I was there, trying to pray the rosary, but I kept thinking about my friends in Lourdes and how jealous I was that they were there, and I wasn't..... I only got to the second decade before I dropped to my knees and started crying. It was one of those cries where your throat goes dry and you can barely breath. I looked up through my tears, and there was Mary. The most beautiful statue of her was looking down upon me, with the sun coming through the glass stained window behind her. She was smiling gently, and softly whispered to me, "Give it to God. My son has this one, and you don't have to carry this weight on your shoulders anymore-He's got this....It's okay...... I totally understand your fears....You can let it go."

Okay, maybe she didn't say "totally".

I knew God had been trying to tell me this all along, but I wouldn't listen. He had to send his mother down to get me to listen. It's just like when Flyboy asks me why I believe my mom when she tells me the same thing he did, but I don't ever believe him. Sometimes it just takes a mom.

I don't worship Mary, I listen to her, and pray to her. She is love, patience and comfort that only a mother knows. It's always about Jesus, but sometimes Mary and the Saints are there to help.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.