Christmas is in Your Heart

  It seems like more years than not, I get a bit Charlie Brownish around Christmas time. I don't know if it's because I'm not a child anymore and I long for that magical feeling of a child on Christmas morning, or maybe it's because I haven't spent Christmas with my side of the family in ten years..... I'm not sure what it is, but it's a sad and lonely feeling that I'm sure a lot of us have at this time of year.

  I tried taking my family to Christmas Eve Vigil  Mass at 5:30 pm this year. Never a good time of day for us. James' medicine runs out at about 4:30. Eli is hungry and tired. It was a mess. It doesn't help that if you want a seat, you have to show up thirty minutes early-Which we did, and that's about how long we lasted- Thirty minutes. Eli started screeching for no apparent reason, and James would not stop complaining(loudly) about how awful the incense smelled. Shayne was dying of embarrassment and Flyboy got up and took Eli to the cry room. I so badly wanted to stay, but I couldn't handle it and we got up and left.

  I went to mass Christmas morning by myself. If that wasn't sad or depressing enough, I was one out of twenty people there. It was so sad, yet the lyrics to the song, 'Joy to the World' kept ringing in my ears-"Let every heart prepare him room." As hard as it's been for me this year to get into the Christmas spirit, those six words seemed to creep inside and fill my heart with joy. Knowing Christ was here and I could start all over again, and make room for him in my heart filled me with such joy and happiness. You know that part in the movie, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when his heart grows so big it breaks the magnify glass?  Well, that was me, I was the Grinch. I could actually feel my heart grow.

  I've spent the last six months being angry at life. Angry at the Army, angry at Flyboy, angry that I feel like I've been having to do everything by myself. I'm done with being angry. I'm ready to let Christ in my heart. I'm ready to start over. I am done with 2013 and more than ready for 2014. Prost to the new year, and may Christ's light shine in all of our hearts this year.

The Epiphany of the Lord
Lectionary: 20

Reading 1 Is 60:1-6

Rise up in splendor, Jerusalem! Your light has come,
the glory of the Lord shines upon you.
See, darkness covers the earth,
and thick clouds cover the peoples;
but upon you the LORD shines,
and over you appears his glory.
Nations shall walk by your light,
and kings by your shining radiance.
Raise your eyes and look about;
they all gather and come to you:
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters in the arms of their nurses.

Then you shall be radiant at what you see,
your heart shall throb and overflow,
for the riches of the sea shall be emptied out before you,
the wealth of nations shall be brought to you.
Caravans of camels shall fill you,
dromedaries from Midian and Ephah;
all from Sheba shall come
bearing gold and frankincense,
and proclaiming the praises of the LORD.