I knew I should have started writing Eli's annual-autism-diagnoses-reflection(Phew! That was a long word!!) before school started. Unfortunately, Eli was diagnosed in August, and August always seems to be one of the harder months for him, and for a good reason- No school, no real schedule/routine(I try the best that I can, but it's SUMMA!⛄️) and then, school starts and Eli has to learn how to be a student all over again.......
So, here I am, exhausted and emotionally drained trying to reflect on what has actually been an AWEtism year for Eli! Yes, there has been ups and downs. Yes, there has been struggles trying to communicate with the school. Yes! There are days when I just want to throw in the towel and fly away to Never-Neverland and never come back!(Yes, this is late at night when Eli is obviously asleep and looks like an angel in disguise)
But isn't that life? What does the wife say in the movie, Parenthood with Steve Martin after the grandma talks about riding on a roller coaster? She would much rather get on the ride than be a bystander(something along those lines????) Well, that's how it is with autism. It's "One, wild, and crazy ride!" and I would much rather get on, than get off.
I can honestly for the first time in three years, sit here and write to you and tell you that if Eli didn't have autism, he wouldn't be Eli. Even if I could cure it, I don't know if I would? (Yes, of course, I would cure the behaviors that make life debilitating at times) but the odd little behaviors? The way he thinks? No way! They are who he is.
I know what I just said goes completely against the grain of 'some' in the autism community- We fight and fight for not "labeling" our kinder, and they aren't "autistic"- they HAVE autism... Blah blah blah. But the fact of the matter is, when you go to look up the word, 'autism' there's going to be a picture of Eli there..... And when you look up the word, 'autism mom' you bet your bottom dollar MY picture will be there! It is what it is- we have to "label" things to organize things and to understand them. It doesn't mean they're stuck in that box(are you kidding me? Do your kids toys EVER stay in the box they're suppose to stay in?). I want to CELEBRATE Eli's differences, not make them 'confidential'.
I guess what I'm trying to say, or what I've learned the most this year from Eli, is that he really is unlimited. For the past three years I've prepared myself for the worst- I'm sorry to say, but I limited my expectations. When you recieve an autism diagnoses you have to change your whole way of thinking- It isn't exactly what you 'thought' raising your child was going to be like. I guess I'm a slow learner and it has taken me this long to truly understand that if there's a will, there is a way. It may not look the way you envisioned, they may have to learn in a different way and make accommodations, but they CAN do it!
I know it's going to be hard to convince others that he is capable, but I'm ready for this ride! I'm excited(and I will look back at this post when I'm not so excited.) No worries, I'm prepared to get kicked off a few thousand times-Been there. Done that.
LET'S RIDE!
The First Year:
The Second Year:
3 comments:
I just love the way you write. Will you please write a book???
You know...God knew what he was doing when he gave you Eli! Not many mothers could handle this like you do. I'm so happy Eli has you!!! You are an awesome mom!!!
Thank you, Oma! Your comments always lift me up!
This darn 'leaving comments on my phone' is really putting me over! I've left comments for all these posts way back when. WHERE are they???
This picture of Eli is to die for! He's a super special kid and you are a super special mom!!! What an amazing year of growth! He's ROCK SOLID awesome!
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